The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.
– Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
“If I were any better, I’d have to be twins.” I suspect my friend who says that regularly may not have “graduated” from grade school. He has never had the luxury of unassigned cash to do with as he liked because he has raised two families of children, much of it on his own as his wives left him. To him, buying a good cup of coffee from a coffee shop is a luxury because he doesn’t have to make his own.
Yet that is the reply he usually gives when someone asks him “How’s it goin’?”
He won’t burden you with his troubles because he knows you have your own. As he can’t likely help you with your problems and most people don’t care enough to help him with his, he doesn’t talk about them.
He talks to God. God, he claims, has been good to him. Though he prays daily–often for others, including me and my wife– when he is in a particularly big fix he knows he can’t handle, he prays extra hard for help. Without fail, something happens and each situation gets resolved. Always.
Now mostly retired (his income is secure), he volunteers at a drop-in centre for teens in the village where he lives. As odd and assorted kids stop by his apartment unexpectedly and consider his home their second and him more of a father than their own, “The Hub” centre is a good fit. He may even take over as its director since he lives closest of the volunteers and the teens (the youngest is 11, but was already on his way to becoming a gangster) act mature and trustworthy when he’s around.
His reward is seeing kids turn their lives around. He feels good about it.
Another friend calls several times each week to tell me his problems. He always has more than his share of problems because he repairs computers, usually for big companies whose employees abuse their equipment and fail to protect them with antivirus and antispyware programs regularly. Getting warranty claims resolved positively is almost impossible, people always want their computers back yesterday and some don’t want to pay him for months (if ever).
I listen. When he calls to rant, I listen. Sometimes I put my work on hold for an hour or more, but I listen. By the time we hang up, his previously big problems seem nothing more than speed bumps on the highway of life.
Life for this second friend is rocky, filled with ups and downs. The downs don’t last long because he feels pretty good when we get off the phone. When it’s too early to call me, he exercises, roughly the way an Olympic athlete would exercise, to that level of intensity. Though he will count 65 birthdays as of this year, his brain kicks out the dopamine to make him feel good when he works to his physical limit.
He goes for physical therapy on his hand a couple of times each week and other visits for his bad knee, which has a nasty habit of locking, throwing him headlong onto something that is usually hard. He went through a wooden step in the first place that resulted in his knee being banged up, causing him more pain in a day (he can’t sleep longer than four hours) than most people suffer in a year, or ten. Sometimes the locked knee causes him to be thrown down stairs, which is how he wrecked his hand.
But life’s pretty good for him.
These two men use their minds to make their lives good, worth living. Wayne Dyer doesn’t know them, but if he did he would use them as examples in his speeches and seminars.
Turning It Around: Causes and Cures for Today’s Epidemic Social Problems, a book about how to teach children to approach life positively so that they can lead physically and psychologically healthy adult lives. And to be good mothers and fathers themselves.
Learn more at http://billallin.com